Women Are Not All the Same, and That’s Okay

It’s been awhile since my “favorite” Titus 2 lady has annoyed me enough write a blog post countering her. To be honest, her social media runs in a roughly 6-week loop and I’ve covered about everything she says that is the most egregious (except for her anti-date night stand, I may cover that one at some point.) But today her post annoyed me enough to comment, and my problem with it is her rigid insistence that all women operate from home at all phases of life.

While I may believe kids are best at home when they are small and that homeschooling can be amazing, I can respect the reasons people may choose not to do what we did.  My children all finished homeschooling in 2019, and while I briefly considered getting a job, I still have plenty to do around here and kept things running while all three girls were in college…at three different schools within driving distance…simultaneously.  I can fully acknowledge that I have a pretty wonderful situation and an amazing husband who works hard.  We are at the point we like to travel a lot, and me not having a boss to ask for time off before we travel is helpful.

But I have a lot of “retired” homeschool mom friends who went back to work, either because they wanted to earn extra money, needed something to keep themselves busy or felt God calling them to another line of work after their children were grown and flown. Some are involved in pro-life and conservative political causes, some have even run for office.  And that is okay too.  Because life runs in seasons and we don’t all have to do each season the same way.

This morning’s post was a long post condemning the women speaking at a TPUSA conference for women.  Some of the women are well-known nationally.  One is a woman somewhat well-known here.  As I am typing, her commercial about real bread is playing on WSB radio.  I am speaking of Sue Becker, the co-owner and spokeswoman of Breadbeckers in Woodstock.  I first learned of Sue Becker and her store as a brand-new homeschooler.  About 25 years ago, I went to a beginner bread class taught by Sue and her grown (and married) daughter and started my journey baking fresh bread (*I don’t believe you are a bad wife or homeschool mom if you buy store bread.  I simply enjoy baking, and it’s nice that this store is close to us.)

Knowing this speaker more than qualifies as an "older woman" and teaches one of the things this Titus 2 lady thinks is important (cooking nutritious from scratch food), I commented that she and her family were Gothard followers when her kids were small (the Titus 2 lady loves Gothard), and her kids are all grown.  The reply I got?  “I teach women to bake bread from home with YouTube videos.” 

Okay, good for you.  But how is it different to have a public platform via YouTube and to occasionally travel to a conference to teach your passion?  I know a bit about the Becker family from some people I used to attend church with, and I will assume that at this point many of Sue Becker’s grandchildren are grown, let alone her children.

And even if they aren’t, we do not all fit in the same box and there is no Bible mandate that women should not leave their homes ever and speak to other women about important things.  It isn’t up to you and me (I told her) to decide whether God has called Sue Becker (or Allie Beth Stuckey or any of the other women speaking at the conference) to speak at this conference.

And someone who has every social media platform known to mankind has no business telling other women not to speak to people in person.  Just because this woman was a shrew to her husband (by her own admission) and is a homebody who rarely goes out except to church (on Sunday, women’s Bible study is a no-go for her) doesn’t mean we are all supposed to do life exactly like her.

I have tried not to name her to keep people from going to her page, but I think the time has come.  If you come across Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, mark and avoid. Also, some others like her: Debi Pearl (TTW is a Pearl disciple, Debi on steroids), Dale Partridge, Joel Webbon and Brian Suave, just to name a few off the top of my head. None of them believe even empty nest women should do anything but putter around the house.  And they believe none of us should vote. It’s time those of us more balanced push back against people who want women to be shut away at home as if laundry and making dinner are the only things we are good at in our advanced age.