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Parents of Adult Children…It’s Time to Let Go

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This is something that has been on my mind for a couple of years. I hope I don’t step on any toes, but I think some of my fellow parents of adult children need a wake-up call about their relationships with their adult children who still live at home. I will say up front that we did not (and still don’t) parent our adult children perfectly. Our two older girls stayed in our home longer than many people might think was good. But this was a financial decision until they figured out what direction they were going and while they were here we never dictated their schedules in any way once they were 18 (and even before, they were good teenagers and it was easy to let respectful teens set their own schedules.) Here are some of the things I’ve seen over the last 10 years or so: College students living at home whose parents require them to attend social things the family is going to, despite having schoolwork to complete; Parents telling young adults they “can’t” go do something they want to...
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Is it Sinful for Grandparents to Travel?

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Here she goes again…I should really stop looking at the nonsense the toxic Titus 2 blogger spews on social media, but her following is large and full of legalistic edicts, so like a train wreck, I find it difficult to look away. This one has come up several times in the last year.  I finally felt compelled to respond. Here is the text of her post: “If you are a grandma, spend your remaining years on what matters, not on a career or traveling. Spend it investing your life into your grandchildren passing your faith onto them, loving them, and caring for them. There’s nothing more important you can do with the time you have left than this. It will bless you immensely too.” I enjoyed a good and close relationship with my grandmother.  I was blessed to spend a lot of time with her. My kids didn’t get to have that kind of relationship with their grandparents, mostly because of distance, and that is okay. I intend to have a relationship with any grandchildren I may have in th...
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Women Are Not All the Same, and That’s Okay

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It’s been awhile since my “favorite” Titus 2 lady has annoyed me enough write a blog post countering her. To be honest, her social media runs in a roughly 6-week loop and I’ve covered about everything she says that is the most egregious (except for her anti-date night stand, I may cover that one at some point.) But today her post annoyed me enough to comment, and my problem with it is her rigid insistence that all women operate from home at all phases of life. While I may believe kids are best at home when they are small and that homeschooling can be amazing, I can respect the reasons people may choose not to do what we did.   My children all finished homeschooling in 2019, and while I briefly considered getting a job, I still have plenty to do around here and kept things running while all three girls were in college…at three different schools within driving distance…simultaneously.   I can fully acknowledge that I have a pretty wonderful situation and an amazing husband who...
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Repealing the 19th Amendment

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This seems like an odd thing to talk about, but it has been in the news lately courtesy of Idaho pastor Douglas Wilson and some members of his church being interviewed on CNN, and it pops up in the rotation of issues the Titus 2 influencer set highlights in their social media feeds. The argument given by the Titus 2 influencer set for taking the vote away from women is twofold: Women are more emotional than men, and they vote overwhelmingly for abortion. They back this up by pulling out a verse or two of Scripture and attempt to convince others the Bible prohibits women from voting.   This is a man’s job, they argue, and if a woman votes, it should only be to vote the exact way her husband votes, and under her husband’s guidance, because she should not be worrying her pretty little head about intellectual things like politics and should busy herself cooking, cleaning, and raising her children.   After all, homemaking and all the homemaking things are the only things women ar...
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Reflections on the Empty Nest After a Year

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This week marks the one-year anniversary of us officially becoming empty nesters.  It’s been interesting, to be sure.  Looking back, it’s both been easier and harder than I thought it would be.   Weird that it could be both, but that’s the only way I can describe it. First, on the easy side of things: Because the girls were very busy with their own lives and as soon as Morgan became an adult we regularly left them to go on trips and do our own thing, we were kind of used to doing things without them.   So that went on just like it did before.   We enjoy doing things together and have made that a priority, so that was the easiest part of just having two of us at home. The hard side of things is kind of a mixed blessing.   Because we are still close to the girls, we know what is going on in their lives.   Some of those things have been rough the last year.   It’s stuff all adults go through from time to time, but it was hard to be so far away ...
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Older Christian Women Paint an Unappealing View of Marriage

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I’ve seen a lot of the "Titus 2" influencer set giving what they think is helpful marriage advice. I've read several of the popular Christian marriage books. I have also been married for 31 years, and I have wondered for a good while why a lot of this advice seems to be stuff that doesn’t apply to my life. And I finally came to the conclusion that much of what they say doesn’t resonate with me because they start from the premise that marriage is very hard and they are telling you how to survive. This was clearly on display on X (Twitter) the other day when a woman was responding to the very toxic influencer I have responded to before.   The woman’s comment was this: “We stay married because we fear God and love our children. Make sure the man you marry fears God and is shown by his behavior. Teach your daughters this.” This comment struck me as super odd. If that’s the only reason to stay married, you must be just sticking it out, not joyfully living as husband and ...
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Young Ladies, Be Careful What Kind of Marriage Advice You Take

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  This is a bit of a follow-up to my last blog post, naturally prompted by another post full of bad advice from the Titus 2 blogger. Here is the post in question, with her info removed. (Some of you know who she is, but I am serious about not driving traffic to her page.) I am always amazed how low she and Debi Pearl (her favorite “godly wife” and the author of the worst marriage book ever written) set the bar for the men in their lives. My first thought was that this advice was given because she (and Debi Pearl) are married to guys who don’t do anything around the house and don’t treat them very well, and this is their advice to already married women who have the same issue.   But this blogger fully admits she used her head and not her heart to decide to marry her husband, and that she married him because he would be a good provider and he loves Jesus.   That’s it.   She settled for a comfortable situation (just like Charlotte Lucas in Pride and Prejudice .) A...
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